Saturday, May 30, 2009

Queen For A Day? Can I Do It Alone?


I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls.
Henry David Thoreau

The last few months have been a tad rocky and emotionally draining. My husband's company teetered on the brink of disaster. I took on a crap job with a steady paycheck to help out with the missed income from shutdowns at his work. Oldest son graduated college and moved to his own place. Middle son came home from college and completed his search for an internship. Youngest son tore his hip bone playing baseball and my 84 year-old mom arrived for a three week visit the day after my sweat shop job ended. Not to mention a flurry of other activities. Everyone has those and their own drains, too. But, this is my blog, so I'm bitching about mine.

Last Wednesday, my mom flew home to Green Bay. She had arrived ill and I sent her home in much better shape. I enjoyed my time with her. She's my mom.

I got up at 5am that day of her departure to make her breakfast and my husband took her to the airport. My further plans for the day? To lie in bed -- all day long.

So how did that day in bed play out?

6am -Read the paper when my mom and husband left.

6:45 - Drifted off to sleep

7am - Garbage truck goes by. I get up to notice our can is not out there. Rush can to street.

7:45 - Drift off to sleep

8am - Mowers come to super trim my neighbors lawn

8:30 - Wish youngest son a good day at school

8:45 - Drift off to sleep

9:00 Phone rings - dentist appointment reminder.

9:15 Check email and see that Pam at Pam's Perspective has left me a Queen for A Day Award. How perfect is that? A license to relax. I sink back into my sheets.

10:00 Say goodbye to middle son as he heads out to work.

10:15 Husband calls to say he is coming home for lunch. Second time in 21 years. Wants to know if the house will be void of kids. (Now that means only one thing.)

10:16 - Curse

10:17-11:30 Doze while fielding telephone calls. Letting the cat in--and out. Answering the door bell from yet another roofer who wants to alleviate our hail damage.

11:31 Husband arrives - day shot to hell.

Okay, it was fun to be alone with him for an hour, but more than that brief pleasure, I so wanted solitude all day.

One of the things I missed most while working was time alone. I would sit in my car during my 1/2 hour lunch to take a breath and not have anyone around me taking one, too. Not so sure if it is the writer and reader in me that craves that, or just me. Actually, I do understand it. A good friend of mine often pined when her husband was in between jobs how she just wanted to be alone in her house, to come home from work and sit in the silence. Walk around naked, unmolested, if you know what she means.

I know complete solitude is not good for the soul, but a little bit right now sounds good. At this moment, everyone in my home is off on a morning venture. The house is silent. I think I'll run around naked for a few minutes, just because I can.

Check out Pam's site at Pam's Perspective . She has great book, travel, and TV reviews, plus a beautiful blog. Thank you, Pam. I'm taking my Queen day right now. At least for a few minutes.


  1. Ayayay! Unplug the telephone and buy yourself a nice pair of noise-eliminating headphones! It sounds like a little you-time is much needed after all that chaos.


  2. Just make sure when you do your naked run that the window cleaner isn't due. LOL.

    I totally understand your post completely.


  3. Hope you enjoy your Queenly status. I so get the need for time alone. I need to have SOME quiet time each and every day. I loved your comment at 10:15am. Can I just say - my husband would say the exact same thing. LOL!

  4. I get this. And lucky for me, lately I've been getting my time alone, too. Feel a little guilty, really, 'cause my husband works full-time and I'm only two days a week. I should make it known how much I appreciate this.

    Glad you got your...half day, anyway.

  5. I understand this feeling completely. And why is it that when you have the whole day, someone gets sick or a husband comes home? They seem to have a sixth sense, a radar, and they think, "She has extra time and I can have it!"

    I admit I left my daughter in day care when I had a day off, so I could breathe. It was guilty breathing, but breathing nonetheless.

  6. I agree with unplug the phone. I turn the ringers off and the volume off on the answering machine.

    I use the house phone for unimportant people. My cell is for tight friends and family.

    LOL about your hubby. Your a good sport!!!!

  7. I like my alone time, too, but after a while, as you said, it's not good for the soul.

    Every now and again, though, it can be so refreshing.

  8. Take my advice on running around in your house naked -- close your blinds. I mean, I just heard this somewhere.

    I love my alone time. I don't get enough of it, but then I never have and you'd think I would be used to it. And I have no doubt that if it was too quiet, I'd go bonkers. I always want what I don't have, don't I?

  9. I'm so glad you stopped by my blog because now I can visit you and feel I have a kindred spirit! I too have a son in college and care for an aging parent.... loved this post and can totally relate!

  10. I'm amazed that you persisted in your attempts to rest! I would have given up after the first interruption. I think it's all about balance - too much of one thing sends us longing for what's missing.

  11. Oh, I am sorry it has been so crazy over your way, truly. It was sort of a strange time when my kids began to graduate from college, and the house sort of emptied from what we had always been as a family.

    I also really like solitude especially when i am exhausted, and boy do I get the phone, the garbage, and so on not leaving me alone when I am dying for some sleep and quiet!

    You guys are in transition and it will get better! It will! Things will iron out and you will refind your groove! Sending you a hug!


  12. This is totally random, but the solitude reminded of what I my friend said. Extroverts get their energy to be alone by being with other people. Introverts get their energy to be with other people by being alone. I'd never heard it put that way before.

  13. Shawna: I just read your blog. I'm now traveling vicariously with you.

    Margaret: Anybody looking would become scared to death at my naked body, but I'll watch for the window guy.

    Pam: I think more than just our husbands would make that remark.

    WWIAW: Never feel quilty for time alone, but I know what you mean. I'm learning -- and yearning.

  14. Pamela: Sixth sense? Radar? Indeed. I remember having my child go to day care on one of my days off too. Sometimes we just need things like that.

    Hit 40: I guess you are all smarter than me. I just assumed alone was alone. Will prepare better next time.

    BrightenedBoy - Refreshing indeed!

    Fragrant Liar - How true - we always seem to want what we don't have. Take off the glasses I guess.

    MAWB: Welcome!I thought we had a tad in common when I read your blog.

    Deb: Yes, the longing for what is missing. Hopefully it will make it that much sweeter when it arrives - or make it not seem like a big deal and long for something else. Ha!

    TTTC - Thanks. Hug appreciated.

  15. Odd facts: In definite agreement with the introvert mode. Never thought I would be like that, but I am. Thanks for visiting.

  16. Hi there! What a fun post; I loved it. I definitely understand where you're coming from here. One can go crazy without any blocks of time to ruminate and process and settle into one's self. I can, anyway. It's taken me a full two years of my husband working at home to get used to hime being here every day. Ack.

    I kind of get the thing about needing work, too. My hubby's job dried up with the stock market last year. I've been basically a free lancer for a long time. Still doing that, but with more of a need to make real money.

    Thanks for visiting my blog this week. Lovely site you have.

  17. When my husband was laid off 10 years ago, there was WAY too much togetherness. I finally decided to take Saturday mornings for myself, just to go shopping, sit at the library, go to a movie, do something for me. We all need our alone time, for sure!

  18. Fun post. I feel a kinship with you. And I also have one of those wonderful Queen awards. I get all tingly every time I see the sparkly crown.

  19. Totally, totally get it! (And agree.)


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