Monday, August 21, 2017

Mulitiple Choice Quiz-- Excuses Why the Midlife Roadtripper Has Not Blogged Since August 2016

Midlife Roadtripper Excuse for Not Blogging Quiz

Quiz Instructions: Choose whatever answer fits your fancy.

Excuse #1 Blog Header

A, She turned 60 in August 2016 and therefore her header and blog name no longer apply.

B.  She didn't realize she hadn't posted since August 2016 because in her mind she was current. One day she cleaned house and found about ten notes written to herself that said "Write a Blog Post" hence discovering she was twelve months behind. Whoa! Have to blame it on the 60 thing. (Holy Crap! She turned 61 last week. Even worse.)

C. She doesn't want to believe that 61 is no longer in midlife and sounds ancient to anyone under 59.  She still doesn't know how to get the photo in her header to center nor start over to find all the stuff that has been invented on Blogger since she started this adventure over nine years ago.

D. If she keeps this blog going, she will have to come up with a new name minus the Midlife and the only possibilities that come to mind are:

The Old Bitch Keeps on Ticking 
Someone Pluck her Chin Hairs
The Bonus Years -- Meandering With a Worn Out Shrew
Senior Roadtripper (NO!)
Life with Julie (NO!)
Roadtripping When Your Knees Hurt

None of these inspire her.

Excuse #2 Busyness

A. Twelve days after her granddaughter, the very sweet Maisy Grace, was born, the Midlife Roadtripper turned 60 and went to Schlitterbhan Water Park to celebrate. She rode down water slides and after landing at the bottom of the one she feared most (where she crossed her ankles to avoid a landing douche) she decided it wasn't all that thrilling or hard and could easily conquer Schlitterbahn at 70.

That realization inspired her and she couldn't quite figure out how to put that experience into a blog post. Then she went on a vacation to the foreign land of Guadaloupe where beaches were king and no one spoke English so she forgot her communications skills and therefore couldn't write anything anyway.

     B. She had a bunch of women writers come to her cabin in September and they set goals and she realized the reasons she hadn't been working on the second book she's been writing were bullshit so therefore dedicated her blogging time to working on the novel.

She wrote the book to the end, printed it out, read it, saw how much work it needed,  and put it on her desk for a complete re-write, again. And then. And then.... Christmas. New Years. Valentines Day. Easter. May Day. Needed the table.

     C. She developed structure and rhythm in her disorganized life. It became habit to read three new poems a day, write her three journal pages of rambling crap and then write a one page can't-pick-your pencil-up-til-you're-done essay/short story or poem before she got her ass out of bed to work on the book she now dedicated an hour to every day. After that, she had no more words left to write.

     D. She's lying and just stays in bed all day until her husband gets home from work whereby she has managed to put on her sweat shorts and t-shirt, brush her teeth, and hand him a chef surprise dinner. "You might need to get out the Cholula for this one, Hon."

Excuse #3 The Election

     A. The election threw her for a loop and everything she believed in regarding the advancement of women, people of color, and education had been blown to shit so she chose to live in the world of well written fiction by reading all the books in her house she hadn't read before. 70 books last year. 45 so far this year.

     B. She joined the VFW near her Hill Country cabin which doesn't require one to be a veteran and won't let you in if you have teeth so she knocked her teeth out and joined. She can play 12 Bingo cards at once now while not falling off her seat at the end of the bar.

     C. Her blog post rough drafts began with cheery stories of hope for the future for her children and grandchildren but soon melted into dystopian visions of barefoot women confined to kitchens surrounded by snotty nosed children who have no future, no clean drinking water, no breathable air, and no national parks to visit because they are filled with oil derricks and tainted water.

Which made her want to write politically. Which she doesn't want to do.

    D. She just didn't give a shit about anything anymore.

Excuse #4 Physical Education

    A. She decided to dedicate her life to her body and started running 10 miles a day and then going to Yoga and Pilates in the off hours.

     B. She guzzled camomile tea and just stared complacently out the windows of her house all day. Enjoying the moment.

     C. She spent excess time wandering her neighborhood with an audio book playing on her phone, her camera around her neck, sauntering mindfully down the streets taking photos of birds, flowers and cracks in the sidewalk.

     D. Her new FitBit reminded her when she hadn't moved 250 steps each hour so she had to practice moving her arm up and down while in a sitting position to make certain at the end of the day her report showed she had moved every hour from 10am to 8pm.

Excuse #5 Creativity

      A. She attended several women's circles on creativity and now has so many things on her pile of creative things that are fulfilling her that she has to make herself go to bed at 1am even though there is still so much she could be doing for enjoyment.

     B. She has decided that now she is 61 she must prioritize her life and make certain that the ways she spends her time needs to have meaning for her, for she truly does value herself.

    C. She has too many projects going not to mention the ones she hasn't yet discovered and truly does enjoy finding a few new pieces in the current 1000 piece puzzle spread on the table or sometimes just looking out the window and studying the clouds. Or the water. Or the swan that has decided to hang by the dock.

     D. She wants to finish that novel started 12 years ago. Not necessarily for publishing purposes -- just because.

Excuse #6 Seriously

     A. Perhaps many of the above.
     B. Perhaps she has read 116 books in the past 20 months.
     C. Perhaps has decided that the ultimate travel time for she and her husband will be in the next 15 or so years, if they are lucky, and needs to make those trips happen. Their list of places to visit is long and she spends time researching trips so they can be travelers more than tourists. Also trips cost alotta so learning about Discovery Corps and Friendship Force and any others that she is completely open to learning about.

She ignores looks from her husband when she says things like "You know, if you're in New Zealand it would be silly not to hop over to Fiji."  Or, "We should probably get to the Maldives before they're under water."

     D. Perhaps she is working on her novel  and by the time she does her daily reading/writing/warm up and walks to get her steps, cleans toilets, makes dinner for her husband, and then reads some more or knits a stocking or makes a blanket or farts around reading the New York Times, she truly just has nothing more to say.
Final Quiz Instructions: Make your picks. Multiple guesses allowed. Suggestions for a new blog title and old people travel groups accepted in the Comment section below.

As to that grandbaby? Well, who wouldn't stop everything to spend time with her.

The moment I make an excuse, I confess to many things. 
Muriel Strode (1875–1964), My Little Book of Life, 1912


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