Sunday, March 22, 2009

Eyes Glued Shut

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
Ella Williams

I've never been a napper. If I try, I toss and turn for two hours, sleep for 15 minutes, then spend the next two hours waking up. Who has that time to waste? I have a life. But this working a 40-hour week outside the home has changed that pattern. Not exactly what I thought might happen, but then again, whoever said life goes the way we think.

I had high expectations for this weekend. Catch up time, I calculated in my journal. Do laundry. Reload the refrigerator and pantry shelves. Wash my floors and clean the rings off the toilets, the toothpaste splatters off the mirrors. Lift weights at the Y. Be happy and pleasant to my family members. You know, basic stuff.

Oh, yes, I was also going to completely catch up on everyone's blogs and write ahead on mine so I would have things to post throughout the week. Little did I know my body/mind would choose otherwise. I know those of you who work full-time jobs outside the home are thinking I'm a whiner and might even be chuckling to yourself saying OUTLOUD – serves the bitch right. But I’m honestly admitting, I'm whipped. Two weeks of full-time work outside the home and my ass is kicked.

I thought I was doing well -- Friday night did five loads of laundry while sipping on my glasses of wine. Saturday morning, I slept until 8:45, then washed rugs, washed floors, spent way too much money at the grocery store, and made it to the Y. Even cleaned the toilets. But sitting down was my downfall. I sat on my bed and picked up White Teeth, the next book on my reading shelf, and next thing I knew, awoke to the sunset. All I could remember from the past five hours was lying in my bed, aware of the world around me - the birds singing in the trees, my neighbor using his table saw to cut new ceiling slats, the members of my household milling in the room as they passed through. But I couldn't open my eyes to them. As weird dreams passed in and out while the world moved around me, my eyes refused to view them, as though they were glued shut, only unsticking at the end of the day to view the sun sinking into the horizon.

Early to bed on Saturday night in spite of the unexpected nap, I awoke Sunday morning at 8 with renewed enthusiasm to read, write, finish the needed tasks, and reintroduce myself to my baseball player son. (Not to mention, my husband.) I read the paper and sat outside for a few moments. Got cold so I returned to my bed for a few moments of warmth. Next thing I knew, it was 1:30 in the afternoon. More weird dreams.

I will get used to this new schedule. I have to believe I will. But right now, forgive the naivety of my exhaustion. I’m 52 years old and don't quite have the energy I had when I was younger. Or at least, that is how I'm justifying my negligence. Perhaps, I also need to forgive myself.

Please know how much I appreciate all your comments and your writings. I will catch up soon. I used to be so much fun. Tell me I will be fun again.


  1. Jules, you are still fun. It will take time to get used to the new schedule. Hell, you did more than I did this weekend, and I'm USED to the schedule. Of course, it's very old by now (the schedule, not me -- oh no, not me), so I just say WTF and do what I can do and don't worry about the rest.

    I did manage to drink three glasses of wine Saturday night (I'm a lightweight, I know) and woke up at 11:00 this morning with a migraine. Now that's a routine I don't want to get used to!

    See you soon, I hope.

  2. I love the weird dreams of afternoon naps. I'm turning 52 this year so feel I can offer advice on the whole balancing work et all.

    I do all things that might make me sleepy in the mornings. Like blogging, reading, writing. I go for a walk in the afternoon.

    When I do nap, it is usually a cat nap, no longer than an hour, but sometimes only 20 minutes. That way I can fall asleep at night.

    Anyone that does laundry while drinking wine is still loads of fun. Pun intended.

  3. Napping may be needed as you adjust! Be easy on yourself.

  4. Of course you will be back to your old self soon! I love to nap. Any chance I get!

  5. Fragrant Liar: Three (3) glasses of wine? I am most impressed. You still need to pack a lunch to drink with me.

    PHST: I will take your advice. I'll forget the housework and do I love in the morning on the weekends. And, I've never been able to power nap - those 20 minutes jobs. So hope to learn.

    TTWC: I thank you. I do need to be easier on myself. I can follow that advice.

    Debbie: Hail to naps. I actually enjoyed them. And my old self? I already don't remember. Tell me I will.

  6. It always takes me a few weeks to get back into the work mode and, in the meantime, I'm wiped out. Don't worry about cleaning house...that's gotta be low on the list. Use convenience foods extensively. Nap when your body tells you to (except at work).

  7. I'm getting really p*ssed off lately that I don't have the younger me energy. Where did it go? Don't be too hard on yourself. You've got a lot on your plate and change is stressful in any form.

  8. Thanks Beth and SMB. My husband cleaned on Friday. spent all day on the kitchen. I think he's beginning to get a clue as to just what I've been doing all these years. And, oh, wouldn't it be nice to have the younger me. That's where I think I need to give myself some leeway. I am 52.


Let me know what you think. Every word you write, I appreciate.


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