Taking a Breath

A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.

Anais Nin

Yesterday I ran away from home. I couldn't quite decide whether to do it or not. I participated in my usual stutter step. This time the guilt stutter step. Like is it fair of me to escape out to the lake? Should I leave my husband and that youngest son to fare for themselves? Not like they both haven't had a hellacious past few weeks. But helping prop their spirits while job seeking has put me in a place where I yearned for escape. I'm so glad I took a detour.

I don't begin my new job for another week and it has occurred to me that adopting myself to an employer's pace is definitely going to bring change. Not that raising three kids hasn't put me on someone else's schedule. (I discovered that during three natural childbirths when I so wanted a five minute break just to catch my breath.) I more than understand many/most women already juggle all this. But allow me a moment to whine and I'll share my escape through a few pictures my dear friend the travel writer sent me just this morning.

Three years ago, my husband and I fulfilled a longtime dream and bought a place on a lake in the Hill Country. Close to home, we have filled the cabin on weekends with over 150 people to share this rest area. But last night and today, I escaped by myself. I've spent the time working at my own pace. Doing for myself. Taking a breath.

It is warm in Texas right now. Like 85 degrees warm. Cold front due tomorrow. But for those of you still in the midst of winter, take a few moments to loll with me on the dock. That's where my book and I are headed. Tomorrow I'll go back to being a responsible, contributing member of society.