Another Milestone - Another Deep Breath

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

For those of you with children, or those of you who observe others with children, please know/recall/try to forget how the senior year of high school can often be one of the most difficult. Oh, sure, I remember the nights walking the floors calming a crying baby, or sticking yet another spoonful of food into their mouths. Not to mention how many diapers I changed awaiting both the day and their never ending energy to finally abate.

But as I look back, tending their appetite, cleanliness, and making yet another batch of Play-doh seemed much simpler. Defined. I didn't have to add in the deep emotion that arrives when it's time to launch them, making certain I get them to the 18year milestone. Experience the persistent worry that my husband and I have provided them with the necessary tools to create their own paths. Often, a tough mask covers my angst.

Last fall I said to my youngest son, Ian, "Get ready to not like me." Having had experience with his two brothers before him, I added. "Remember, it's all for you."

A little guilt never hurts.

"Much to accomplish this fall semester. I won't do any of it for you, but I will ride your ass until you get it all done."

Threat experience works, too.

His list:
Take SAT/ACT tests
Choose five schools to send applications
Fill out the applications
Write the required essays
Create a resume for college aps
Get References
Write thank yous
Pass high school.

I have to be honest. Maintaining the necessary vigor to get through this with the third child makes me glad I didn't have more. I doubt I could muster the energy or strength to get through another one, nor provide their just deserve.

But no excuse for not carrying the whip for Ian.

Alas, the year sped by. The whip, lost somewhere in the house, and there we were, Graduation Day.

Oldest brother and new sister-in-law joined the party.

A tired, relieved mom.

Two days of cooking for the party and last time the Orange and Black (school colors) tablecloths will come out except for Halloween.

Pies, instead of a cake. Rhubarb, Blueberry Rhubarb, Buttermilk, Apple, and a Blueberry Crisp.

How can this time have gone by so quickly?

And the next stop on his life trail?

Roll Tide.
His leaving my home in the fall already causing my heart to seize up, but that's a story for another day much too soon.

Before the Next Party, I Putter

One of the most delightful things about a garden is the anticipation it provides.

W.E. Johns, The Passing Show

We're having a party on Saturday night. Imagine that - the Andersons having a party. After all, it has been about two weeks since the last one.

This next event is a high school graduation party. Held in honor of the third and last kid graduating from high school, this party is a no brainer. I can do this one with my hands tied behind my back. With the Eagle Scout Court of Honor pushed to the end of the month, this day began without a feeling of rush. I embraced that. I have accomplished nothing.

Have puttered the day away. Put my pretty silver shoes from the wedding into their box and onto the shelf in the closet. I unpacked my suitcase from the college graduation and buried it in another closet. Emptied the bag in the living room that held the wrapping paper from the 18 year old's birthday presents. Watered the new flowers I've yet to plant.



The school year is winding down so no teaching today. I could drive to the YMCA and swim 3/4 a mile, but can't muster that much effort today. I'm enjoying the quiet while anticipating a rousing houseful on Saturday night.

I have brushed my teeth, read 50 pages in a library book, ate breakfast, put some handwash items in the washer. Excited to discover I won the Peterson's Field Guide to Birds from Susan at City Girl Moves to Oz Land.

Now I think I need a nap while I ponder last night's Lost finale.

Not only have I read two books in the past few days (remember my lack of concentration for reading), I also took a look around my yard. Stopped to smell the flowers, as they say.

Remember my tomato plant wars of past years?

Look what I have growing on my five plants. I did have to squish a few green tomato worms, so I'm not home free. But, oh, my. How proud of myself, I am.

Yes, I do need to add weeding to my list of things to do - tomorrow.

My Job is Done

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.

Erma Bombeck

Tomorrow, my middle son, Jordan, will move to a new town and begin his new job. When he returns home, he will have his own home, now only arriving at mine as a visitor. I'm trying not to think about all that means, instead choosing to express my confidence for his success in the world. A poker face, laden on the inside with wonder at how quickly the time of raising him passed.

All along I felt my job was to teach my children independence. My heart holds a two-faced reaction to the accomplishment of that goal. One of pride for their success and one of sorrow that they no longer need me like they once did. Selfish, perhaps. I admit it.

Last weekend we had the distinct pleasure of attending Jordan's college graduation from Northern Arizona University. Very proud of him. Jordan didn't talk until he was 4 and didn't read until 3rd grade. Teachers said he'd never do well in school. Perhaps I should mail them a copy of his Bachelor of Science degree in Biology.

Now he moves to another town to begin his career in Wildlife Management. Employed. Self-sufficient. Off our payroll.

And the best part? Only three hours away instead of 17.

He had planned on antlers for his mortarboard, but came up with this instead. He wanted it to read "My Job Here is Done", but ran out of room for the "here" part. My husband -- glad to hear he knew more work lies ahead. His job at college is done, but he embarks on the world and a career working with wildlife, as he hoped. What fun to come as that path evolves.

I am having such trouble with this new camera, but I thought this looked cool.

Proud parents and grandparents.

Such fun we had in Flagstaff, Arizona. Great town. Beautiful location. Enjoyed our time with Jordan and his friends. We stayed at this funky, old hotel. I'm not sure my in-laws enjoyed it as much as my husband and me.

Definitely had cocktails in the lounge.
Proud and happy Dad.

Had an incredible meal to celebrate Jordan's success. With beautiful food - like this dish. Grilled leg of lamb, Mole Style Lamb Chilaquiles, Salsa Roja, and Queso Seco. Incredible. I wish my kids could graduate every day.

Now, on to the high school graduation of my youngest. I can begin grieving for that son who leaves for college in the fall. However, he'll only be a mere 12 hours away. Much easier for me as that is only a day's drive, instead of two.

As for Jordan, like his mortarboard said, my job is done. I think (I know better.)

Jordan,

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
Irish Blessing

This is Going One of Two Ways

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

One day remains before the festivities of the next four weeks begin. All that stuff that's collected on my mantle the past few months take place starting next week. (I'm so glad I took that picture. Reminds me I need to get the Spring painting and pictures up there.) Tomorrow my mom arrives for the wedding, my youngest son goes to prom, two baseball games before that, and I must get my shower cleaned. My mother would probably appreciate clean sheets on her bed. I promised myself I'd get the bookcases in the living room dusted.

(In other news, middle son has landed a job after college graduation in May. Working on a deer ranch. Will only have 5 days to get home from Flagstaff and begin new job in Texas. So glad he will now live within a couple hours, however, with 128 fawns ready for his care come mid-May, probably won't see him until September. Most proud of that boy.)

I must say other than a brief meltdown Tuesday night and a butterfly stomach on Wednesday, I have weathered the planning for a wedding, two graduations, college visits and choices, high school senioritis, and an Eagle Scout Court of Honor - I think. Remaining on my list of things to do is checking in with the rehearsal dinner crew and putting together a small book of information for the honeymoon trip.

My husband and I looked at each other a couple days ago and said, "We need a vacation."

Too bad we can't afford one. Damn kids.

But, my meltdown - not quite sure what that was. I had to pick up my dress on Wednesday morning. Took myself off the teacher list for the day. The wedding will take place in the country, on a ranch. Outdoor for the ceremony and a restored, rustically elegant barn for the reception. However, it is located in a remote area and I decided to spend the morning finding the best route there for our families staying at the lake. One where when driving home at midnight, they might not get lost on country roads. Looked very easy on the map, but after driving for hours through the hill country, winding this way and that, dipping down to cross one lane creeks beds already flowing with water over the road, I decided sticking to the main highways might be best.

I arrived at the lakehouse to find trailers and trucks parked in my driveway. The new neighbors are extending their dock. The workers decided my gravel driveway was the best place to park. Wrong day to make that decision. Women running away from home to settle their minds and find a little peace do not fare well when a trailer loaded with pipe found in their parking spot. Not to mention the noise of the generator and the pounding of pipe driven into a granite bed. So loud I had to shout at the guy to get their vehicles out of my driveway and park where they worked - not at the neighbors. To be honest, the shouting didn't bother me. And I wasn't a complete bitch. I smiled while I said it.

But the noise. Incredible. I found some ear plugs I keep in the bunk room, in case a snorer bothers the other sleepers, and poured myself a vodka tonic. Went into the small bedroom where the noise traveled the least and pulled out my library book. Read for four hours. Didn't get any work done other than a few plants potted and I moved the swifter around the floors a bit when I'd get up to get a refill.

I took this after the workers left for the day. Tell me they will be done by the time we have 20 people in and out at our place next week.

I did venture also to take a photo of the ducks. The males are enduring a lack of female companionship as the mother duck sits in a pot at the end of the dock, nurturing 8 eggs.

The point of this story? I felt much better when I drove home to work on Thursday. And, with all the activity of next week, my blog life is going to go one of two ways. Either you won't hear from me for a while or I'll be on here every day, seeking solace.

Everyone take good care while I enjoy my company, these most blessed events, and welcome a daughter in my life. As much as I love all my men, having female camaraderie, other than my cat, makes me most happy.

My azaleas have chosen to bloom just in time. This time next week - full bloom.