Time once again to add a year to the number in my blog header. Fifty-five no longer suffices, unless I lie. I'm not a very good liar. In fact, when I try to lie, my forehead tends to become a flashing neon
Here I am at my birthday a few weeks ago.
All my life, not being a good liar has hindered my growth. Means I step on my foot, a lot, when someone asks my opinion. Even the fiction I write comes from life and not much made up. Perhaps why Science Fiction and Fantasy aren't my genres and personal essay is much easier for me.
I am now 56. This getting older has hit me. Perhaps because this birthday my mom and dad weren't around to remind me I'm someone's child. My husband is after me to plan for retirement and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
But Midlife Jobhunter? What was I thinking four years ago when I began this venue? I was 52. I honestly considered myself mid-life. I'm not certain I'll make it to 104. And now, 112?
Do I change the title of my blog? I've considered a few.
Back When I Was Skinny
Where Did the Time Go?
How Can I Be 56? (Which of course will change every year.)
The Reluctant Matriarch
The Old Bitch
The Flower's Dropping her Petals
Somebody Pluck her Chin Hairs
The Invisible Woman
The Youthful Elder
You may have noticed, I've also been fiddling with the blog's design. Not a great amount of time invested there as I'm not certain what I'm seeking. As usual.
I'm not up for beginning an entirely new blog and leaving this one behind. In the blog world, Midlife Jobhunter is who I am. Perhaps clinging to the word midlife brings me comfort. (I must admit that it took me about five minutes to come up with that name when I began, but that's what I believed I was.)
From its early beginning of a woman in a panic, frightened of the world ahead, I must say I'm quite surprised at where Midlife Jobhunter is now. As well as where she isn't. My husband's company came around and the fear of its demise passed. I've managed to make a little money by utilizing some of my old skills - teaching, reading, and editing. I make about a dollar two ninety-eight an hour doing each. Not quite a lucrative career.
I had the crappiest job of my life - scoring state required test essays. Been chewed up and spit out by middle and high school students while substitute teaching--although discovered I carry quite a big stick so students need to pack a lunch if they want to take me on. (Raising three boys had something to do with that.) I can be any kind of editor someone wants me to be, yet still have trouble editing my own work.
As for the followers I've met on this wandering? You are incredible people. Real people. Smart people. Creative people. Most interesting to have followed your paths as you followed mine. As my blog segued beyond jobhunting into everything from weddings, funerals, hangovers, travels, writing and reading, bird watching, and who knows where else, I have enjoyed following your journeys. Sharing your intimacies, your fears, your joys, your lives.
So, what is this about? Hell if I know. It's almost the end of August and I need another post so I'll have two this month.
Honestly, though. Have any of you considered changing the name of your blog? Did you worry about your followers finding you? I don't plan on giving up blogging, but does a 56 year old woman still have credibility as a Midlife Jobhunter? Does it matter?