Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Funny How Things Work Out






I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am.
Sylvia Plath



Nineteen years ago, my oldest child went off to kindergarten followed two years later by his younger brother. Four years after that, his youngest brother joined the ranks of student. On the first day of school, they arrived home with backpacks filled with papers for me to peruse and sign, forms to fill out. I hated the big pink ones - where you filled in health info, social security number, who to call and all the other garbage required. Someday, I said, someday, I won't have to fill out these stupid forms.

Someday has arrived. I bypassed the Back to School ads and the watchful eye to identify locker, book, and schedule pick up days for my kids. The familiar angst that summer is over and my days now dictated by defined schedules and childrens events, didn't elapse. Finally, finally, my days of public school over.

Of course, life isn't complete without irony. I no longer have kids in the public school system, but guess who's still there? That would be me. The substitute teacher.

Gave me a very odd feeling to walk those halls of the high school yesterday. I didn't hear the familiar "Hey, Mrs. Anderson" calls. The most heart stopping, I didn't hear "Hey, Mom." Just as his friends that greeted me so warmly have begun new lives at college, so has my Ian. Gave me pause to consider that he is now so far away.

But the boy is doing well. In an effort to grant him his wings, I've only called twice in more than two weeks. Texted twice. Where a little homesickness invaded his world at the beginning, he now says things are going great. Activities joined, classes attended, new friends met. An adventure well on its way.

Ian and his new roommate, Zach.
The family farewell. Ian and I had driven from Austin to Tuscaloosa after flying back from Green Bay. Bob and Jordan drove in from Green Bay. A little rearranging in the midst of schedules gone awry.

I'm not very good with goodbyes, so our last morning whipped by rather quickly. "See you again sometime," is all I mustered before climbing into the car after a quick hug. Shades of the goodbyes my brothers and I shared with my dad, and one my oldest brother, Jon, so eloquently recalled at my dad's service. Thank you, Jon.

A parting glance.


I thank everyone for your most kind thoughts, prayers, and comments from the past two posts. I appreciate the Fragrant Liar's contribution to this blog in my absence. It totally fits that she would choose the photo where she looks best. Ahem! That other blond in the photo? That's our friend, Carolyn, of Backyard Pearls fame.

Okay, now that I've sent you to three different places in one paragraph, time for a bit of relaxation. After my week of solitude spent raking the lake, I had a few friends join me. For some odd august reason, clouds and cool breezes replaced the heat and allowed us to not spend our days dodging the sun. Our focus of the day became taking turns replenishing the drink and food trays. Lazy day indeed.

Just a bunch of old bitties, slacking off. Swimming with the swans.

Back to work.
Cheers!

40 comments:

  1. These life changes come along like thieves in the night. I have to see my youngest off to Japan for a year at the end of this month. I have to try not to think about it or I'm wrecked. *Sigh*

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  2. My biggest issue with my daughter 'going away', whether it be to college or on her first drive across country by herself, or maybe just a trip to the beach in Florida, has been the inner 'panic' or fear that IF something were to happen, I would not be able to get there in a timely fashion. Case in point, when she was at college, three hours away, and had a kidney stone. Her friends took her to the hospital (she knew what it was), but the hospital WOULD NOT GIVE HER PAIN MEDS UNTIL I GOT THERE because she was not 21. She was in agony during that three hours!

    That's some circle of friends you have,Julie...there for xmas parties, mother of the bride preparations, and just hangin' out by the lake! It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!

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  3. The melancholy feelings, that the different phases of life sometimes bring, have been present in my life lately too.
    Our children/grandchildren coming into their own is joyous, but yet has a tinge of sadness.
    It's good to share feelings with a circle of friends, both close and in the blog world!
    ~Wanda

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  4. Glad your time at the lake was restorative. I am looking forward to the no more back to school days. At least I think I am. Careful what I wish for, right? Glad Ian got off to school so well and is settled in. And kudos to you for restraint in contacting him. I can not say the same about myself.

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  5. You are doing transition so well! Love the pictures. The lake pictures made me want to be there. :-)

    So, another year of subbing? And what else? Isn't this your year to focus on your writer self?

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  6. where does the time go?? Looks like you had a lovely time though....

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  7. Its quite hard to let go isn't it? Itr happens to us all sooner or later but it never gets any easier. He looks to be well settled already.

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  8. Friends are so wonderful to have around when you're in need (and when you're not). I love that you can have your girls out to your house and hang out on the docks. I just wonder what's in that O.J. Anything, um, hard?

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  9. I am still so busy being happy in my clean and undisturbed home that I haven't had a chance to miss my kids yet. . .

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  10. Change is the only constant and, sometimes, it makes me weep.

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  11. My relatively little ones head back to school next week. Here, right now, I am for the first time in my life struck with the notion that one day this post will be mine. It is utterly unfathomable to me. Isn't that funny?

    You've a handsome kid there. And a beautiful group of friends. You're doing well.

    xo
    erin

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  12. Love how you share your feelings with your friens....where would we be without them. So glad you are moving forward Julie, one thing we can all count on is change in our lives.....the only control we have is how we deal with these changes and you my friend seem to be doing just fine as I hope your mom is.
    Be well my friend.....:-)Hugs

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  13. Thank you for visiting my journal.
    Yes, I understand. Further down the road of life then you but goodbye for a while is all the same. children and grandchildren are now all over the map. My only son is now part time in Thailand. What would I do without email to keep in touch.
    Take Care - life goes on. Everyones sharing I understand.

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  14. The changes you've been through in these past few months are hard to believe; your oldest son's wedding, 2 graduations, your father's passing, your youngest now off to college and suddenly you're an empty nester. It's strange the way the universe sometimes dishes it all up at once. I can soooo identify because it happened exactly like that with me. Within just 6 months I lost my dad, lost our one and only child to college, sold our house, madly searched for a new one, found one and then, (an exhausting undertaking!) moved!!!! I predict calm seas ahead for you now. Rest, enjoy, be good to yourself.

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  15. I just came back from blogger break and read your previous couple of posts. I am so sorry about your father. But I am glad to hear that your son is doing well in college.

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  16. The tone of this post manages to combine warmth, melancholy, wistfulness, and joy...I am moved.

    On another note: if I ever got into that hammock on the dock, I'd never get out.

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  17. I was just at book club meeting on Monday night, and listened as a couple friends expressed their bittersweet thoughts at seeing their kids off to freshman year of college. Reading your post, along with witnesses their emotions makes me wonder how I will handle it four years from now.

    An hour from now, I'll be at ninth grade night; just left the schedule pick up for seventh grade. :) And yes, I'm dreading the forms.

    Thanks for reminding me to absorb and live through these fleeting years.

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  18. Ps. Seeing your girls lounging around the table with a view of the water...hmmm...can't wait for more of that, too!

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  19. You are loved. I can see that in the faces of the people around you. How very, very important that is..

    I was browsing the back to school ads, with no one to buy for this year. I love school supplies, the smell, the colors, everything.

    God bless you, Julie. Please take your time. You are much better than me. I get "Mom!!" because I call too much. And this the one who lives with me.

    Thank you for reading my blog.

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  20. Like that long ago milestone (the day I liberated the old van of three carseats), this is the first fall in 20 years I've not been scratching around for school supplies and browsing used uniform sales. :) Bittersweet, hunh?

    If you need a fix...all three of mine are still in the nest, but employed and/or in college.

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  21. I am happy to hear that your son is doing well and it sounds like you are too. I understand all too well. I didn't think I would ever be back in school again but here I am getting ready to send another to Kindergarten..buying school supplies and filling out all those forms. :) Yes, it is funny how these things work out. :)

    How nice to have some friends join you in the last days of summer. Blessings to you as you are back teaching. I hope you have a great year and that you are appreciated! XX

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  22. Looks like things are settling down and getting back to normal. Love the pics with the Bunco's. I'm sure that Ian will be fine. I'll never forget the day that my parents dropped me off at college. They were wonderful parents, but, it was one of the happiest days of my life! I was free to be me, at long last! Cheers!

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  23. Sometimes a short good-bye works out well. I'm glad you're able to share those moments with a few good friends and a big pitcher of liquid!

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  24. I could so relate to this post. Who knew how quiet it would be? Who knew that we would miss the hustle and bustle and the back to school sales? Not to mention stolen moments between activities and friends for ice cream and a movie?

    I could just sit right there with you old bitties. You look like a good bunch.

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  25. I love that deck and you all sat chilling ... I want to come and join you.. my boys are both back next week this has been the longest holidays ever..10 weeks I have loved it, but I am ready to see them go back now xx

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  26. I would have felt sad seeing you say farewell to your youngest and the thought of leaving those school days behind, except that it was so delicious seeing you with your friends dining on the pier with that beautiful water :)

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  27. I sort of dread that drop off of my older son at college next year.

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  28. Big life changes...Just three years away for me...I dread it...Sounds like you have handled it amazingly well!!! I'm in total awe!! Great to visit here! I love reading your thoughts...and your writing! ~Janine XO

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  29. Glad Ian is doing well--and you, too. Nice to know that whenever life becomes a bit overwhelming there are "bitties" by the dock--and a hammock.

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  30. Hey cher, just stopping by to invite you to a rockin' good time BBQ, over at a friend of mine's blog, right now!(link is on my current post, under recipe) You won't want to miss it! Cheers!

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  31. I want to join the old biddies, too! That looks so relaxing! I'm truly old enough to be an old biddy! My boys are 36, 37, and 38. All three are married and I'm 7 times a grandma!

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  32. I've been reading you for a year now as you mark off huges life changes...the really big one has recently happened...the empty nest. I'm soooo interested in hearing what happens from here on...thanks for your excellent writes...I'm a big fan.

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  33. Just stopping by to see what you are up to! Have a great rest of the week! ~Janine XO

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  34. Thanks for your comment on my BBQ blog, I almost missed it as it was at the end and I didn't notice til today as I'm totally wasting time blogging today. Love how you capsulize the job situation in a few well-chosen phrases on your bio. It would take a book to talk about my job history. And what I'm doing now? I'm not even sure, so I just say author & editor LOL. I just followed and put you over 200! Yay!

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  35. Oh my... I will be in your shoes a year from now!

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  36. Hi just stopped by after having a wonderful walk with Wanda. I see you are on a journey too. I would like to follow along if you don't mind.
    Simone

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  37. I need a girlfriend hang out day.
    I only had two kidlets to fill forms out for,
    with the three away now there is a light there in the distance :)

    I love the way you reflect on things, you have a generous and gracious heart.

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  38. You've only called twice in two weeks! I bow to your willpower. My kids will never grow up because I have to hold the strings too tight. *sigh*

    Wish I was sitting on the lake with you.

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  39. Just checking in to see how you're doing. Hugs

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  40. Dear Midlife Jobhunter... You've done an amazing job with your amazing kids. THAT my dear is one huge job from which you can never be fired or laid-off. I haven't been here in a while, but am still looking for a job myself. I have not kids, but have never had a problem getting a job. Until now. At my age, it has been the most degrading and uncomfortable thing I think I'v ever done. I would give almost anything for a day at the lake to cackle with my best hen friends. You're photos made me lonesome for that. Take care, keri

    www.alwayscurtsywhenyousneeze.com

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