Thursday, October 21, 2010

Who is that Fat Lady in the Photo?

We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.
Jane Austen

This past weekend, the Bunco Bitches got together for one of our famous weekends. Hadn't had one since last November. I was ready.

Our original plan had us spending Friday night at JoD's new bungalow in a little town in the Hill Country. (Another Midlife Jobhunter, she is setting up a whole new life for herself.)

Well, you know how it goes. One night stretched to a long, lazy morning and then a walk about town, which led to the local watering hole. Next thing you know, everybody is headed down the road to my cabin for another night of decadent behavior. Home? What is home?

Languid ladies sipping luscious wine while the sun's light slides beneath the landscape.




Of course, we had a photographer in the group. Here I am driving my VW bug on our way to the lake. When my friend posted this photo on Facebook, I looked and looked. Who was that smiling lady with the double chin?

In my last post, I mentioned an excerpt from Simple Abundance - A Daybook of Comfort and Joy (Warner Books, 1995.) I actually found the entry Sarah Ban Breathnach writes in her selection for February 12.

Today, try to find a photograph of yourself when you were about ten. Make sure you're smiling. Put it in a pretty frame and place it on your dressing table, desk... and look at it every day. Send love to that young girl. Try to travel back in time and imagination.

...because age ten was probably the last time you trusted your instincts. You didn't listen to the opinions of your mother, your sister, your friends because you had your own.

...I remind myself that once upon a time, I trusted my instincts. You did, too. Once upon a time there weren't second or third guesses. It can be that way again.

...Try to contact the girl you once were. She's all grown up now. She's your authentic self and she's waiting to remind you how beautiful, accomplished, and extraordinary you really are.

Here is my ten year old self.

Fourth grade. I more often than not saw things differently than those around me. I didn't understand why, nor the loneliness it sometimes wrought, but I kind of liked the independence it created. My mother and I had opposite opinions on what I should wear. My bedroom was a mess; my dresser and night table covered with pictures, artifacts I liked to look at, dust, paperwork that needed tending or filing, and probably something I'd worn and not hung up. My favorite color was blue. I rarely had my attire completely together. I loved spaghetti. I played teacher. My favorite subject was reading.

Hmmm, nothing's changed there. Except for that double chin. Probably should work on that.

38 comments:

  1. Yeah, ten. That's a great story, and a good idea about the photo. I think I will follow your advice - get a "lost" weekend together, and call my Mom to get that little league picture you suggest. Thanks again! EFH

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  2. I love this post! I'm going to dig through my photos and find one and frame it, and put it by my laptop.

    I can't remember much about myself when I was in the 5th grade. Perhaps the photograph will jog some memories. I do know that I had some great friends and that we had fun.

    I still like to have fun, but I'm much more free with my emotions that I was when I a child.

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  3. What an uplifting post, all due to that photo of you and the double chin. Yes, look at that child of ten and rejoyce. Perfect for anyone at anytime.

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  4. I don't really think I was my authentic self at ten. I was so influenced by my sister and my mother was a bully. My bedroom was very bare of decoration because my f clean and proper mother would not allow it. I think i started becoming more myself the day I moved out....still not quite there yet, but I now have a much better idea of who I am...I think all the lessons we learn along the way, if really learned, help us grow into our authentic self....

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  5. I am very much like my 10 year old self, but happy to say I like myself better today, big belly and all. I think it has been the life experiences some good and some horrible but I learned more from the horrible so I wouldn't change anything. Everything is perfect just the way it is. Looking good Julie, hope all is well with your mother.
    ..........:-) Hugs

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  6. Your weekend sounds perfectly wonderful. I am going to get a weekend like that later in November. Believe me, I am counting down the days. :)

    I remember reading this part of the book now that I've read this...I need to do this...I think it would be good for me to do so.

    I love your picture of when you were 10...I also like the picture of the present you driving your car, and smiling. :)

    "another night of decadent behavior"...love it...I hope to have a couple nights of decandent behavior in November! :)

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  7. So glad that you had a fun weekend with the B.B.'s! Always good for the soul to drink a little wine with some friends and indulge in a little decadent behavior! Love all the pics! Cheers!

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  8. I love that excerpt.

    And beautiful photos - both of them!

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  9. What a wonderfully reflective post! Makes me try to remember me at 10...the oldest of six, responsible for them because my mother worked.

    I'm sick of my responsible self.

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  10. So many people with "perfect" profiles have missed out on so much spiritual (nothing to do with Religion) development by obsessing about minutiae all their lives.

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  11. You mean I'm not still ten? :) But you look happy with your hair blowing in the wind in that photo, can't beat happy :D
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  12. Great post, Julie...you made me smile more than once. I have a photo of myself (age 9)on the wall above my computer, right by my husband as a young boy. I will send her love!

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  13. I think that energetic 10 year old is alive and well--but that messy desk had as much chance of being cleaned as it does now (I should know as I type while looking at the mess here).

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  14. We all should celebrate our ten year old self. I like the idea of putting the picture out and just enjoying looking at it. Remembering!! I must find a pic of me now. But I have to say...I am having a blast now and I couldn't be happier!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  15. I loved this post!! So much I can relate to.... am off to find a picture of the 10 year old me.

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  16. A lovely idea for all of us to follow. Age is rarely kind to anyone's looks, but smiles break through regardless! I also am going to try this.

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  17. Well, thank you for the blog post idea! HAHA.

    I love this picture of you driving your VW with the top down. I was right there with you when I looked at it. You and those Bunco Bitches are quite the troupe, and I know you wouldn't trade them for anything. Life is good, eh?

    I am going hunting for my 10-year-old self now.

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  18. Drinking wine by the lake looks idyllic and I am all for that, but I am not sure that I want to go back to being ten years old.

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  19. Love the notion of a lost weekend. I've thought about the picture of me at 10...I think I was already somewhat repressed, or at least limited in my sense of self. Maybe because I was 10 during the 1950s. As Bob Dylan says, "I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now."

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  20. Have a blessed week end!

    I posted something today. Good to be back but not sure i can post as often as i would before due to work.

    But it's good to be blog walking when i can again..

    Hugs,
    Silver

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  21. You're so good at hitting the right note, Julie. I like your bravery and your funniness and now that I've seen your ten-year-old self I know my ten-year-old self would have been friends with you. It just took a bit longer to happen.

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  22. The thing that I saw first in both photos was your amazing smile. The absolute confidence and joy beaming from your young self gave me goose bumps. This is one of my favorite of your posts. The reminder of the power of ten is particularly timely for me right now. Thank you for that.

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  23. What a joyous picture of your ten-year-old self. And you look pretty darn happy driving that convertible too.

    For me, with age just comes too much awareness of myself, aka "Does this make me look fat, or old?" I need to find a picture of myself at 10 like your picture.

    That Hill Country weekend looks wonderful; wish I'd been there. It's been too long since I sat by a lake and watched the sunset - one of my favorite things.

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  24. Love your blog post. Thank you. Midlife has been the time of my life!

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  25. I love the 10 year old you and the ? yr old you too. And I love this post. There is something brewing in my tiny little head. More to come.


    and ps: It might just be your fault.

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  26. I forgot to say how envious I am of that girls weekend. YAYA!

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  27. I think you look beautiful driving your vw, hair caught by the wind, a relaxed smile. Thank you for sharing your 10 year old self.

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  28. the weekend .... oh you are so blessed.

    and you are radiant in both photos. you know that don't you ?

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  29. Oooh! I love it! I'm going to scrounge through the old suitcase under the bed and see if I can find my 10 year old self.

    Nice evening on the lake!

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  30. What a great post, Julie. And I like you as much now as your ten-year-old self. You seem at home in yourself, and that matters--a lot. The ten year old had dreams and hopes for a future filled with adventures, and your road-tripping self is LIVING those adventures. Booyah :). LOVED it.

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  31. I've stared at the picture of the languid ladies long enough - wishing I were there!

    The chin - I've got one too. I'm told that I'm on the thin side, so my double chin is loose skin. lol

    And weren't you a ten year old cutie...you still are...double chin and all. :)

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  32. I have great memories from that age.

    By the way, double chins are (surely) a sign of "thinking" writers .... seriously.

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  33. Well, i love that smiling lady with the double chin!

    Silver

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  34. My favorite age to teach was 5th grade - 10 year-olds. They are at that perfect age - not old enough to have turned the corner to adulthood, still respecting elders, yet old enough to have real conversations with you, to know how to express the ideas in their heads.

    So I think that the author is on to something - the essence of ourselves is first expressed to the world when we reach that age. We start to figure things out, become brave enough to exhibit ourselves. We are given more responsibility, trusted more. And that taste of independence is thrilling.

    You certainly have held onto the essence of your 10 year old self - and the good sense to smile at a moment that is fun.

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  35. My friend gave me that book :). What a little ten year old doll you were, with all the aches of childhood it sounds.

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  36. What a wonderful post. The passage from Simple Abundance gave me chills!

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  37. I drive a VW Bug, too, and I smile at the pictures of you at ten...so like me. Don't you love pictures of ourselves now? I often have to ask, "Is that really me?" Even after taking off fifteen pounds since April I was unhappy with my fall photo. Here's to more acceptance of ourselves, and more laughing! It's so great that you had time with your friends like that.

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  38. I appreciate your courage in posting a photo that knocked you back a bit--that's a hard thing to do. But mostly, I appreciate you reminding all of us that our current and past selves are one and the same; we just have to take the time to consider each one with open eyes and see the relationship.

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