Sunday, September 26, 2010

How Late Is Too Late?

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.
William James

How long is too long to not write a fellow blogger and thank them for taking the time to make a comment on your post? To respond to the kind thoughts they passed on in a time of need? To let them know how their time and comments made you feel better?

I have that problem. Many of you wrote such kind thoughts when my dad died and my youngest son went off to college. Your comments sit in my active email list. I have 55 to answer. I keep avoiding that. Not sure why.

Sort of like I keep avoiding putting out a new blog post. My last - forced. Only thing coming to mind is my new shoes or that the air conditioning in my car and my upstairs has gone kaput along with the leaky roof.

Or that I haven't told you that the swallows won the sparrow/swallow war. Or that I'm substitute teaching almost every day - and that I so want a cleaning person. A grocery delivery person. The YMCA in my back yard. New feet.

All seem rather trite.

Deb of Catbird Scout (if you don't read her, you should - she is a fine essay writer) sent me an email about the silence on my end. Yes, perhaps the heart has been tainted by the events of the last two months.

I'm hopeful the fog is lifting.

So, how late is too late to let people know how much you appreciate them? Or, that the moon that rose the other night had such beauty and I hope you saw it, too.

Meanwhile, a special moment shared...

...eatin' blueberries with my niece at Lake Michigan. August 2010


  1. There have been a few occasions when I have posted about something very sad or overwhelming for me ad gotten lovely responses of support and god wishes at a time when I was least equipped to answer back. At those times I wrote a communal thank you and moved on. I think that's perfectly okay.

    (I read that photo caption at first as "eatin' bluebirds..")

  2. It's never too late to write a note of thanks or appreciation. The approach may change, but the sentiments remain the same--mostly. I never feel hurt or upset if I get a note or word after the fact like that. A kind word is always welcome. That's the way I see it.

    Tossing It Out

  3. Never too late, darlin'. Especially among friends. We all need that space sometimes to recover, to rejuvenate, to process the events in our lives. I'm glad to see you back here, dear friend.

    The moon is gorgeous tonight.


  4. This is a give and take territory. Don't worry.

  5. I like Secret Agent Woman's take. When a life-changing event occurs, I assume that the person will be dealing with it indefinitely and do not expect personalized responses to comments.

    I think it is to be expected.

  6. People understand....don't happy...guilt is not necessary among friends....the goddess in all of us understands everything......I never feel pressed to respond or I would quit blogging....I give when I can and take when needed.....

  7. Julie you are never too late sweetie. People care, they tell you and they know you are living on an emotional roller coaster. True blogging friends understand and only want what is best for you. Just know you are loved and in our prayers......:-)Hugs

  8. I have been wondering about you but then my computor time has been sporadic as of late so I thought maybe I had missed a post. I'm thankful that you posted so that I know you are still around.

    In answer to your question, I don't think it's ever too late. But, I also know that I surely don't expect a response to anything I write to a post. I know that people are busy. In instances like yours in which you've lost a loved one, I expect that for a period of time you will be in grieving mode.

    I hope the fog lifts soon. I am sorry that things are hard right now. In time you will find your voice once the meantime we will all be here waiting for you. Sending you much love and hugs to you...XXX

  9. I think this post more than suffices for "thanks." EVERY ONE OF US gets behind; we all have LIVES outside our blogs; we all have people who depend on us; we all have houses to maintain, jobs to work, groceries to buy, meals to cook, laundry to do, appointments to keep. We all have moods, and we sometimes don't feel like corresponding in any fashion; sometimes, in spite of good intentions, we are simply overwhelmed and as time slips away, our guilt grows stronger and stronger.

    See? We know. Don't stress. Just enjoy those blueberries!

  10. I think all the comments here pretty much cover anything I would have thought of to mention, so I will just leave you a big, fat hug.
    *H - U - G*

  11. I is never too late! Life can throw us some big mountains but I prefer to look at them as speed bumps. They are just there to slow us down a bit. Shift into a lower gear and drive forward at a more relaxed pace.

  12. Being late is a function of time, dear MJ. Personally, I don't believe that responding to comments is all that important. We follow you because we are "connected" by will, and enjoy the process of where you're going. To that end, keep up the great work. Don't worry about us; we'll still be there behind you. EFH

  13. You take all the time you need sweetie,((HUGS)).

  14. Julie, I don't think you need the pressure of thinking you have to reply to all those comments individually. You've said what you needed to say right here, no??

    Anybody who blogs knows the scoop. There are time when you can reply and times when you just don't have the right mindset, or the time. Or both. Nobody who has an ounce of self-esteem is going to be in a snit because they didn't get a personal response. Ease up on yourself and take all the time you need before you post again. We'll still be here, 'cos you're worth waiting for.

  15. It's my guess that no one really expects a response as they gave freely of themselves and without strings. No worries.

  16. I'm here tonight regardless ,
    and thrilled that you thought to share the moon.
    it's enough .

    peace to you.

  17. I liked this honest and simple threshold statement. Thanks for your sincerity.

  18. Nothing I can say that has not already been said (and better) by others. So I thank you for the photo of you with your niece. There is comfort in blueberries!

  19. I think that your post serves as a lovely thank you to all of your readers. Responding to 55 comments is a daunting task, anytime and I don't blame you for avoiding it. You've been through a lot, recently and it will take a bit time to bounce back. Just take all the time you need, dear friend, because we've all been in a similar situation and understand. Hugs, Marguerite

  20. It's never too late. I also believe that most bloggers understand the silences that happen surrounding overwhelming events. Lots of hugs :o)

  21. Oh, Julie. Your friends know you're grieving and rearranging the furniture of your heart. It's never too late, and we're here for you - even if it's just waiting and praying for you.

    Thank you for your kind words.

  22. Sometimes life moves so hard and fast that it's hard to squeeze in that quaint, genteel custom of individual thank you's. I think it was fine of you to do a thank you post. And I hope the glimpse of your son on tv helped to lighten your heart and lift your spirits.

  23. Jacob's wedding gift continues to ride around, unwrapped, in the trunk of my car, though it was purchased before the wedding. . . you have no need to apologize. Take whatever time you need to get back on the keyboard. There are giant holes in your life right now. They will heal over time, not overnight. Just do the next thing that needs doing, and if it is resting or crying or puttering in the garden it will be the right thing. One day it will be writing again.

  24. All that matters is that you wrote this post.

    Take your time.

    Mimi would tell you: "If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else."


  25. I just deleted over 750 emails sitting in my inbox a few days ago. Comments on my blog going back to June. I had every intention of visiting every single blogger since then. I had not, and I finally gave up. Time is against me, and that many emails/comments is totally impossible. It took me most of the day in between other chores, just to get the ole inbox cleaned out. How ridiculous is that?

    I agree with secret agent woman and slam dunk, a communal thank you is just fine, or even no response. I know I've been in situations where I'm just overwhelmed and can't even deal with the proper protocol at the time. You're still processing everything, and we're here to encourage you, to hold your hand, to send you hugs.

    You'll get where you need to be in your own best time. :)


Let me know what you think. Every word you write, I appreciate.


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