Ever seen Man vs Food on the Travel channel? Big guy Adam travels the country taking on food challenges - 4 pound steaks in Amarillo, eight breakfast tacos in Austin, 15 dozen oysters in New Orleans. Watching someone pack their guts may not be your cup of tea, but alas, in my house of men, we watch faithfully. True to the act of stuffing one's face, my husband, brother and myself found ourselves on a pleasant patio at Jack-n-Grill on Federal Blvd in Denver the other morning. Number three son, Ian, the baseball player, wanted to take on Jack's seven pound breakfast burrito. No time limit - well, maybe sometime that day.
Before placing the sled of food in front of him, he had instructions to go to the bathroom right then and there, or forever hold his guts. He abstained from the bathroom visit and before him arrived the signature dish. And a dish to behold it was.
The battle face left no hint that this was chump change in the pursuit of the mere poloroid picture left on the wall for eternity. The picture that would provide the notoriety for this accomplishment so important in life not to mention terminal free food at Jack's. So it began, spoon in hand. (Check out the lady behind him.)
Seemed a happy start - going at the steamy tortilla covering seven potatoes, and a dozen or more eggs, plus onions, and cheese smothered in green chili. No big deal.
Chipping away at the edges. (I take my time eating my breakfast of scrambled eggs and beans to not make Ian feel rushed.)
Ian fiddles with the food. Says it is steamy hot in the middle. I believe him. I finish my breakfast, file my nails, and eye the bar. I suggest to my husband that we get margaritas. He scowls and points at his watch. 11am. I sigh. I know he wants one just as much as I do.
Taking a breather - with a smile, the pursuit of the Seven Pound Burrito continues. Two sides demolished a little more than a third remaining. Ian sits back in his seat to see if his stomach will stretch out and offer up more space.
A few more bites, and then, surrender with a smile. We package that baby up and five of us eat it for breakfast the next morning. A gallant try, my Ian. You didn't even spill on your shirt or yak out the car window on the ride through the windy roads in the mountains. Good sport. Although you were quite quiet during the long ride - and you did have your window down. Anyway.
You tried it. You rock, Ian. What's next? Eight Jalapeno Stuffed Habanaros in El Paso?
I got a rumbly tummy just reading this post. It does look delicious, though!
ReplyDeleteThat's alot of burrito!!! Holy Chamoly!
ReplyDeleteI do not know what a burrito is! Perhaps looking at the size of it it is as well I never find out.
ReplyDeleteHi, just stopping by via Ex-Pat's blog. This is so funny! Can anyone eat a 7lb burrito? He made a gallant try. Those stuffed habanaros sound kind of good...
ReplyDeleteWe are also in the midlife job hunt. Fun, isn't it?
This post is wrong on so many levels, but I loved it anyway! Think I'll head out for a burrito...
ReplyDeleteWhat a cutie your Ian is. There's enough food in that burrito to feed a third world country for a week!
ReplyDeleteYou raised a smart young man. He knew when enough was enough!
ReplyDeleteWhoa. That's a lotta burrita. I'm not surprised he tried it, probably with Mom and Dad egging him on (oh yes you would!). But a valiant effort, and funny that you ALL ate the rest of it the next morning. That says something about how HUGE the thing was. :)
ReplyDeleteThat boy will conquer or at least try to conquer mountains in his life. What a champion.
ReplyDeleteMargaret
Bravo Ian! Good try and smiling at the end.
ReplyDeleteWe watch that show over here. I liked the one with the hottest curry. My eyes watered the whole time I watched it.
Hubs and I have isalnd fever. We are dreaming road trip and diners.
Good job, Ian! Gave it the old college try.
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for visiting my blog. I see Ian trying to finish his giant burrito, just like any other big guy would. My boys kept challenging each other with this or that. Fun, never dull life.
ReplyDeleteOHMYGOD, I'm so glad he didn't eat it. That food was bigger than his head! Yikes.
ReplyDeleteWhew, he sure gave it a heroic effort! He ate way more than I ever could. Bravo Ian!!
ReplyDeleteThat was one giant burrito. I wonder if anyone has ever ate the whole thing? What do they charge for that baby?
Wow! I love Mexican food, especially breakfast burritos! That looked really yummy, but I doubt that I could have made a large dent in it like your son did. He did a great job, and you had a whole other meal out of it! :)
ReplyDeleteWe used to live in Denver, now in Georgia. Let me tell you, Denver has the best Mexican food around! When we got here we started looking for a good Mexican food place, were ravenous for a green smothered burrito - and they don't have a clue that you're talking about a burrito covered with green chili. Most here, especially in the more rural areas, season with lots of black pepper and enchilada sauce! What a disappointment. Every time we go back to visit family, we head right away for real Mexican food.
ReplyDeleteI had to close my eyes. Your blog is very hard to read with my eyes closed. Is there anything you can do about that?
ReplyDeleteI got a piece of advice from someone a long time ago that you can pass on to #3. "Never eat anything bigger than your head." This could save his life one day.
p.s. You are my 100th follower. Congratulations. I will have something on my blog for you. Enjoy!
ReplyDelete7 lb. burrito! I think I just found the name of my new band. :)
ReplyDeleteYour son is SOOO my kind of kid. I have to say, I think I could make a frightening dent in that burrito, too.
ReplyDeleteWhat I love, as well, is the kind of mother you are, vamping to give him chewing time.
Only in America! That is some kind of huge.
ReplyDeleteIan has had a good chuckle at all your comments. He has taken a note to self not to tackle anything bigger than his head in the future. $12 that burrito cost. And we got six meals out of it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone for your comments.
dammit. Now I'm hungry.
ReplyDeleteScobberlotcher's comment? Loved it.
ReplyDeleteFrom Ian: Correction on my mom's statement - I would try it again in a heartbeat. It is inevitable I will defeat that burriot. Now I just eed a ride back to Denver.
ReplyDeleteThanks for you comments on my mom's blog.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
ReplyDelete